A Difficult Week

This week I attended Seraphina Suite, went to my Mindfulness and Meditation class and practised some meditations.

I was quite disturbed by the work at the Meditation and Mindfulness class this week. We were looking at 'Developing an Attitude of Gratitude', and were asked to list the things we wished for and the things we were grateful for. Both lists upset me because they reminded me of how my world and life have changed. The tutor coped with my upset well, but it has still left me wounded.

For instance, I am grateful for hot water. I have lived without it, so it means a lot to me to be able to shower or bathe or have a hot drink when I want one. Remembering not having hot water upset me.

A thing I wish for is carpeting for my home. I was upset by this because it underlines for me, every time I walk on my bare-wood floors, that I am living in poverty. Not utter poverty, because I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, but it underlines how far my life has diminished.  I feel diminished. Life has kicked the shit out of me and left me for dead. It's no wonder to me that sometimes I figure I might as well actually be dead.

When I went to Seraphina Suite I got into a conversation about how I feel 'Physician Heal Thyself' applies, and how I feel I can't offer healing to others until I am well myself, that it feel hypocritical to consider doing so. My very wonderful friends observed that a) I might not be as I want to be, b) if I wait to be well I could be waiting forever, but that c) I have a wealth of experience and huge amounts of empathy which are enormously valuable in working with others. . . I do. I just wish I could do the counselling course I want to do, because I know I have such a lot to offer, and that doing the course would help me heal further too, because of the self reflection involved. I am very frustrated not to be able to afford to do the Counselling course.

As to practising my meditation skills, I am struggling with completing the Body Scan meditations. I don't know how to project my breath into my extremities. With the Counting meditation, it takes me several attempts to reach a count of ten. We also learnt the three-minute Breath Space meditation this week.

The tutor's feedback included reminding me that there are no goals to what we are doing, and praising me for having made the effort to meditate as often as I have been doing.

I realise I am my own worst enemy when it comes to demanding perfection and solid achievement.


Questions for the Breathing Space meditation (step 1):

1. What bodily sensations am I aware of at the moment? Just accept them.

2. What emotions am I aware of at the moment? Notice where in your body you are feeling these. (Mine were all clustered in my throat chakra today).

3. What thoughts am I aware of passing through my mind at the moment?


Step 2 is Breathing. Breathe normally and notice the qualities of your breath. Appreciate how precious your breath is.


Step 3 is Consciously Expanding your awareness into your whole body, and to accept yourself as perfect and complete just as you are right now.


This weekend is difficult.

Review of 2012

I've been up to all sorts of things in the last year. I feel it's time for a review . . .

Since March 2012 I have been a regular client at the Seraphina Suite in Ashton-under-Lyne. I've received a lot of Reiki healing from people there, especially Sue and Kathy G, for which I am very grateful.

I have learnt more about Shamanic Drumming, Shamanism and Native American healing, courtesy of Gary.

I have learnt about Hypnotherapy, courtesy of Oksana.

I have had a very comprehensive flower essences treatment from Kathy R.

I've participated a number of times in a Lemurian crystal healing group, led by Kathy R.

I've attended psychic development and meditation groups led by Kathy R and by Kathy G, respectively.

I learnt about and experienced crystal singing bowls, courtesy of Janet.

Above all, have made many new and wonderful friends and learnt to love existing friends even more,

I am thankful to the Universe, and to the Lord and Lady and the Power behind Them, for everything good that has come to me in the last year and for the lessons given and learnt in that time. I am greatly Blessed and Protected.

Today I am reading up on Lemurian crystals and Lemurian Attunement. There will be a talk on Lemuria and Lemurian Healing at the Seraphina Suite in Ashton-under-Lyne on Saturday 12th May (£20), 2pm 'til 4pm, and I am trying to decide if it is something I might like to attend.

Sue and Kathryn from Serpahina Suite have both had Lemurian Attunements from the speaker and say it is wonderful and that the energies are marvellous.

There's also an 'Introduction to Crystal Therapy Workshop' happening at the Seraphina Suite on 20th May 10am to 4pm, at £50, including refreshments and crystal starter pack. If you are interested in either of these events you can call Kathryn on 07813 494 485.

Although Crystal Carols is very near to the Seraphina Suite and the ladies are friends I don't think this particular crystal workshop is being run by Carol.

You CAN book for Crystal Carol's crystal courses and her psychic development workshop by contacting her at her shop - 0161 339 6677 - between 10am and 4pm. Carol teaches both introductory level courses and the Level 1 and Level 2 Melody qualifications. Her crystal courses are very intimate (between 2 and 6 students), in-depth and very good value for money. Carol also makes her own range of crystal jewellery, her Spirals range, and is the exclusive source for genuine Que Sera (R) stones (example pictured above).